Everyone that has been in a negative relationship should listen to this song. Although it is hard to admit, we all make mistakes and say and do things we later regret. There are times when in an attempt to prove a point, we blame the other person for their bad choices and behaviors instead of taking responsibility for the only person we have control over, ourselves.
If you are reading this and happen to be in this kind of relationship now, hear this…YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM OR HER!!! I don’t care how hard you try or what you try to do to accomplish this, they won’t change until they are ready. You can’t love them more or be a better husband/boyfriend, wife/girlfriend, mother/father, etc. Trying to save their soul is not your job. That is God’s job and we are not God. I didn’t learn this lesson until I was going through my divorce. I was still seeing the counselor we saw as a couple because I wanted to fix me. So I asked the tough questions and the one that I couldn’t figure out to save my life is where I went wrong. My counselor looked me square in the eyes and said, “You were trying to be his holy spirit and by doing so God couldn’t do His job.” Wow! That one took me months to process and he was right. I was so afraid that we were heading down a path of demise that I was doing everything in my power to ensure that we never reached that place. I shared scriptures, songs, testimonies, anything I could to open up my spouse’s eyes to the path he was taking in his own life. At the time I really thought I was doing it for his well being, but after some soul searching I discovered I was simply trying to fix him so that I no longer felt the negative effects of his sin. Because in my mind, if he was healed everything else would fall into place. I was wrong. I needed only worry about me and my issues. And after closing that chapter of my life, that is exactly what I did.
Sadly, a majority of us learn these lessons the hard way. But there is good news!!! It is never too late to change. Start by taking responsibility for you and your choices. Go to your Heavenly Father and ask for guidance and clarity in the areas you went wrong or could’ve made a wiser choice. Ask Him for forgiveness and apologize to those you wronged if that is what He says you need to do as part of the healing process. Let Him refine you and mold you into the image of Him and remember that He loves you more that anyone else in the universe!
WARNING: More is Caught than Taught!!!
Today as I was preparing my daily posts for my Facebook pages, I ran across this video. As I watched it, my heart was pained by the fact that we all have made stupid choices in front of our children at some point in our lives. As Christians we teach our kids to listen to what we say, often forgetting that our actions speak louder than our words. As my children get older, I have noticed some of the mistakes I made during the most painful years of my life have taken root in their hearts. Luckily God gave me His eyes and His heart during that time and made me aware of my own issues. Without that, I would still be indirectly teaching my kids behaviors that I would never want them to learn. Don’t get me wrong. I am in no way perfect now, but my heightened awareness allows me to see the areas where I need to grow and heal so that my kids don’t imitate my bad behaviors. If you are reading this and wonder how you can know if you are guilty of this, study your kids. They are mirror images of you. If they have a bad habit of being impatient, I would bet that one of their parents struggles with patience. If they have a low self-esteem, odds are a parent possesses that same trait. If your child is negative and sees life with a glass half empty mentality, they learned that from someone close to them that they watch every single day.
I know this is not easy to hear or to accept. As parents we want to raise perfect kids, but in reality that is not possible. No one is perfect and the ugly truth is that we all have baggage and bad behaviors that we caught from our parents, and them from their parents. But we can be the one who decides to make the necessary changes in our own hearts in order to foster an environment that encourages positive behaviors instead of passing on negative ones.
If today, for the first time, a lightbulb came on for you, know you are not alone. God is on your side and is right there waiting for you to ask him to start the healing process in your life. Trust Him!
Joshua 1:9 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. God will be with you and will never forsake you.”
Thank you for sharing with us in ways that get our attention. As we strive to be better parents, give us the strength and courage to get honest about us so that we can model YOU to our children. We know that we can’t give away what we don’t have so fill us with You. Help us replace our old ways with Your ways. Thank you for giving us children and entrusting them to our care. Use them to reveal to us our hearts and open our eyes to the damage we are doing without even knowing what we are passing on.
In Your Precious & Holy Name,
I have to admit that there are days when insecurities from my past resurface and it quite honestly shocks me. I guess I think because so much time has passed that I should no longer get triggered by anything anymore, but that is not the case. And sometimes I feel that since I have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father that is so deep, I shouldn’t have those fears anymore. But I do.
They live below the surface, buried so deep that I convince myself they are gone. That is a lie. They are still there and with them lives fear. A fear that is a big fat lie that Satan uses to trip me up. He attempts to imprison me. To take me back to the past where I felt unloved, unwanted, and unworthy of anything and everything God promises to those who love Him.
Today, I choose to refuse. I refuse to listen to the voice of the enemy, for he is a liar. I refuse to believe the lie, for he is the father of all lies. I refuse to let my past invade the present, for God has revealed the truth. He is with me. He loves me unlike anyone has ever loved me. And He will protect me from anything Satan throws my way.
If you find yourself being attacked by the enemy, remember that God is bigger. When He said, “It is finished” he meant it. We don’t have to live as slaves to our hurts or fears. We can choose to REFUSE!!!
Over the past couple of days, I have had several conversations with people about how they are stressed out and can’t seem to find a solution to their problems.
I think God decided to teach me a little lesson so that I could turn around and share that lesson with others.
Yesterday there was something that had been bothering me that I had been trying to fix for months. I had done everything I could think of on my end with no success. When the issue arose again, I decided it was time to call on my prayer warrior. I shared my request and not five minutes later the prayer was answered. I felt so stupid for not praying months ago. I thought it was such a small issue that God didn’t have time to deal with such a request, but He revealed that no prayer is too small and every request is important to Him.
The lesson here is this:
1. We can do nothing apart from God and when we attempt to, we only end up frustrated and worn out.
2. Prayer is powerful! Not only does it save time, it lets God know that we rely on Him for everything.
3. God is ready and waiting to provide for us. We just have to be willing to go to Him and let go of our need to do everything in our own power.
What have you been killing yourself to accomplish? Maybe it is time to hand it over to the One that truly has the power to make miracles happen!
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. God knows our needs and the needs of others and aligns everything to work for His glory. I have story after story that I could share with you, but I will save you hours of reading and narrow it down to just a few!
A couple of weeks ago, I met my father for lunch. He gave me a gift that brought tears to my eyes. He handed me this hat…
Now I have not received a gift from my dad for no reason for as long as I can remember. And although I would probably never wear this, what he said when he gave it to me is what pierced my heart. He told me that when he saw it, it reminded him of me. It was at that moment that everything came full circle. He told me he has been going to his church every time the doors are open and that he feels so much better when he is there. Then three days ago, my mom and I were talking on the phone and she mentioned that she saw a mailer from the church I attend and she wanted to go to the Christmas service with my family. I have been attending church since I was 15 and my mom and dad have each only been to one service during that entire span of 21 years. My dad came to watch me sing in the choir one Christmas and my mom came when my middle child was baptized.
I spent years trying to get my parents to discover what I had found all those years ago. Little did I know, they may not have been attending any service but they were watching me. This Christmas He allowed me to see the seeds that had been planted begin to sprout to life. He never ceases to amaze me and I can’t wait to see what comes of this Christmas miracle.
So if you have been praying for someone in your life to find Jesus, keep sending up those prayers because he is listening. You may not see the fruit just yet, but one day the big man upstairs may just surprise you and reveal the work He has been doing all along.