Now before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. This morning I read an article titled, “Lover or Prostitute?” It started out by explaining the history of Christianity. Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an enterprise. The definition of enterprise is a business or company. The writer was teaching this history lesson to a group of teenagers and one of the women asked a simple question. She said, “A business? But isn’t it supposed to be a body?” His response was yes and then she said, “But when a body becomes a business, isn’t that a prostitute?”
I didn’t grow up in church, but I did attend with friends every chance I got. I loved it there. Everyone was so loving and welcoming, something my home life was lacking. I quickly learned that people in church were different. Their families were actually happy, or so they seemed from the perspective of a 13-year-old with such a dysfunctional one of my own. So as an impressionable young girl, I related happiness with church. And with that I also assumed that all people who went to church were good people. This mindset led me down a very destructive path, although I didn’t recognize it until it was way too late.
At 15, I started dating. The boy was perfect in my eyes because of one thing. His family attended church. For some reason in my mind it never occurred to me that just because people go to church, doesn’t mean they are without flaws. Fast forward three years and I am now dating a different person with the same mindset. I fell in love with him because of his family. They were everything missing in my life. In a mother and father that were still married, I saw perfection. They not only attended church, but his grandfather was a preacher. I honestly felt that God placed this man and his family in my life to give me what I was missing for so long. I now had the mother and father I had always dreamed of and their Godly son by my side.
Fast forward a few years and I am married to that man and I discovered that just because people attend church and know the bible does not mean they are any different from the world. I learned that people can put on a mask and pretend to be whomever they want to portray. I made the bold statement that I use to support prostitution because I supported things that were against everything Christ stood for. My ignorance allowed me to focus on the wrong things in order to try to gain the things of Christ. I did eventually gain the things of Christ and I continue to learn more with each new day, but I took the wrong path to get there.
It not only took me 15 years of growth to gain the courage to stand up against the wrong that was taking place, but it took me even longer to realize that having a relationship with Christ is nothing like a business. I use to think that in order to grow in Christ I had to attend every church event, volunteer for everything I could, teach the younger generation, etc. I had bought in to the body becoming a business because I had a mental checklist of things that must be done to reach the my desired goal.
When the body of Christ consists of people that don’t really know Him, there is no way they can love Him. Loving someone unconditionally requires knowing them. Knowing what makes them tick, why they are who they are, their hearts.
As the body of Christ, I think we better stop and check our hearts and our motives. Because if the majority of us that call ourselves Christians are out there prostituting the body of Christ, we who call ourselves the body are defiling the very nature of the one who gave His life for us on the cross.
I have been doing a lot of soul searching over the years and learned a lot about myself and my God. But there is one area that still boggles my mind…FRIENDS. I have several people whom I consider my friend and I think they would say the same. But what I will never understand is why I am the one who always picks up the phone to just say hi or to let them know I care. Friendship is a two way street. If you care about someone and call them your friend, action must follow. Just as faith without action produces no fruit, onesided friendships can’t produce a relationship.
Today if you value your friends, let them know. Because I guarantee that one day they will kick you to the curb if you don’t! This same lesson holds true for dating and married couples!
Since most of us see ourselves as a good friend, here is a true test that will help you see the truth: Of the two of you, who has called to check in with the other out of the last four contacts? If it was equal, you have a good friend! Cherish them! If you realize it was you every time, you value the friendship more than they do. Let them know. They will either step it up or they won’t. Either way, you will determine if you should spend any more time pursuing them. If you now realize it was them that has been reaching out with no effort from you, make it right. If you value them, show them! Apologize for taking them for granted and make a conscious effort to be the friend you expect them to be.
Remember, relationships are a joint effort and they will cease to exist without both parties pursuing one another. Don’t lose a good friend because of lack of effort on your part and don’t keep a friend who is too busy to make time for you.
Everyone that has been in a negative relationship should listen to this song. Although it is hard to admit, we all make mistakes and say and do things we later regret. There are times when in an attempt to prove a point, we blame the other person for their bad choices and behaviors instead of taking responsibility for the only person we have control over, ourselves.
If you are reading this and happen to be in this kind of relationship now, hear this…YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM OR HER!!! I don’t care how hard you try or what you try to do to accomplish this, they won’t change until they are ready. You can’t love them more or be a better husband/boyfriend, wife/girlfriend, mother/father, etc. Trying to save their soul is not your job. That is God’s job and we are not God. I didn’t learn this lesson until I was going through my divorce. I was still seeing the counselor we saw as a couple because I wanted to fix me. So I asked the tough questions and the one that I couldn’t figure out to save my life is where I went wrong. My counselor looked me square in the eyes and said, “You were trying to be his holy spirit and by doing so God couldn’t do His job.” Wow! That one took me months to process and he was right. I was so afraid that we were heading down a path of demise that I was doing everything in my power to ensure that we never reached that place. I shared scriptures, songs, testimonies, anything I could to open up my spouse’s eyes to the path he was taking in his own life. At the time I really thought I was doing it for his well being, but after some soul searching I discovered I was simply trying to fix him so that I no longer felt the negative effects of his sin. Because in my mind, if he was healed everything else would fall into place. I was wrong. I needed only worry about me and my issues. And after closing that chapter of my life, that is exactly what I did.
Sadly, a majority of us learn these lessons the hard way. But there is good news!!! It is never too late to change. Start by taking responsibility for you and your choices. Go to your Heavenly Father and ask for guidance and clarity in the areas you went wrong or could’ve made a wiser choice. Ask Him for forgiveness and apologize to those you wronged if that is what He says you need to do as part of the healing process. Let Him refine you and mold you into the image of Him and remember that He loves you more that anyone else in the universe!
Today as I was preparing my daily posts for my Facebook pages, I ran across this video. As I watched it, my heart was pained by the fact that we all have made stupid choices in front of our children at some point in our lives. As Christians we teach our kids to listen to what we say, often forgetting that our actions speak louder than our words. As my children get older, I have noticed some of the mistakes I made during the most painful years of my life have taken root in their hearts. Luckily God gave me His eyes and His heart during that time and made me aware of my own issues. Without that, I would still be indirectly teaching my kids behaviors that I would never want them to learn. Don’t get me wrong. I am in no way perfect now, but my heightened awareness allows me to see the areas where I need to grow and heal so that my kids don’t imitate my bad behaviors. If you are reading this and wonder how you can know if you are guilty of this, study your kids. They are mirror images of you. If they have a bad habit of being impatient, I would bet that one of their parents struggles with patience. If they have a low self-esteem, odds are a parent possesses that same trait. If your child is negative and sees life with a glass half empty mentality, they learned that from someone close to them that they watch every single day.
I know this is not easy to hear or to accept. As parents we want to raise perfect kids, but in reality that is not possible. No one is perfect and the ugly truth is that we all have baggage and bad behaviors that we caught from our parents, and them from their parents. But we can be the one who decides to make the necessary changes in our own hearts in order to foster an environment that encourages positive behaviors instead of passing on negative ones.
If today, for the first time, a lightbulb came on for you, know you are not alone. God is on your side and is right there waiting for you to ask him to start the healing process in your life. Trust Him!
Joshua 1:9 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. God will be with you and will never forsake you.”
Thank you for sharing with us in ways that get our attention. As we strive to be better parents, give us the strength and courage to get honest about us so that we can model YOU to our children. We know that we can’t give away what we don’t have so fill us with You. Help us replace our old ways with Your ways. Thank you for giving us children and entrusting them to our care. Use them to reveal to us our hearts and open our eyes to the damage we are doing without even knowing what we are passing on.
In Your Precious & Holy Name,
This very subject matter has bothered me for years. Back in 2010, when I was at rock bottom due to several losses in my life, I was told I was depressed and needed to get on an anti-depressant to help me through it. My doctor said it was no big deal and the dosage would be small. He then explained that we would try it for 30 days and go from there. But…that but told me what I already knew. There was a catch. Take the pill and come back so we can wean you off of it. Really? If I have to go through a detox program, I am out! At that point I am just medicating one problem with another set of problems.
If you have read my stories, you know that I went against my gut instinct and took the medicine anyway, or so I thought. I let Satan convince me that I would be fine and I accidentally overdosed on sleeping pills in an attempt to numb the pain God was using to refine me into the person He created me to be. Luckily, God wasn’t done with me yet. I have no doubt that I died that night, only to be saved by my loving Heavenly Father, not a drug!
Now every time I see commercials for medication, I cringe. I wonder at what point did we as a country decide that fixing one ailment was worth accepting a long list of side effects that are actually worse than our original problem? I agree with Matt. Sometimes a little pain is okay to experience. I am not a theologian, but I vaguely recall Jesus purposely placing a “thorn” in the side of Paul, causing great pain. The purpose was so that he would need Jesus and rely on Him for everything.
So what if your current thorn was meant to draw you back to God and instead of going there you turn to medication?
I haven’t been sleeping well.
I’ve never slept well, actually. I’m up late, even though I’d rather be asleep, and I wake often during the night. When I do sleep, I sleep restlessly. I don’t dream. I’m always tired. Sure, this could have something to do with our 8 month old twins, but my sleeping issues developed long before the little ones arrived.
I tell you this in order to explain why I was Googling tips for curing insomnia. I don’t want drugs. I won’t take them. I just wanted some advice. Specifically, I wanted better advice than “count in your head until you fall asleep.” I tried that one a few nights ago; I got to 3, and then I started thinking about Pi. And then I tried to list the digits in Pi, but I could only remember 3.14. And then I started thinking about the movie Pi —…
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