If you know me or have been following my blog for very long, you know that my journey and personal relationship with God has come as a result of some serious pain along the way. As I reflect on how I got to where I am today, I clearly remember one specific thing that changed my life forever.
Several years ago I came to a point in my life where what I was doing was no longer working. You know, those moments where you think you are doing everything right and God hits you upside the head and says, “Is what you are doing building our relationship or just making you look Godly to the world?” Through serious soul searching, I found that He was right. I didn’t feel I was doing stuff to appear Godly, I honestly was doing everything because I thought that was what He wanted of us as Christ followers. You know, attend church, get actively involved in a small group, attend bible study, volunteer somewhere, read His word daily, tithe, the list goes on and on.
It was then that I discovered Christian rock. I know that sounds way too simple to lead to a life change in regards to getting to know Christ personally, but that one small change completely altered life as I knew it. Listening to God on a daily basis is the key to significant growth and God used music to speak to me. As days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, I noticed that my entire thought process had completely changed. I started seeing things through a new lens.
My challenge to you is that for one week you listen to only positive, uplifting music. There are several Christian radio stations in every city so find one that appeals to your style of music. If you listen to internet radio at work or at home, KLOVE is my favorite. I have a feeling that after one week, your choice in music will not only change your attitude, but it will change the way you see the world around you.
Everyone that has been in a negative relationship should listen to this song. Although it is hard to admit, we all make mistakes and say and do things we later regret. There are times when in an attempt to prove a point, we blame the other person for their bad choices and behaviors instead of taking responsibility for the only person we have control over, ourselves.
If you are reading this and happen to be in this kind of relationship now, hear this…YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM OR HER!!! I don’t care how hard you try or what you try to do to accomplish this, they won’t change until they are ready. You can’t love them more or be a better husband/boyfriend, wife/girlfriend, mother/father, etc. Trying to save their soul is not your job. That is God’s job and we are not God. I didn’t learn this lesson until I was going through my divorce. I was still seeing the counselor we saw as a couple because I wanted to fix me. So I asked the tough questions and the one that I couldn’t figure out to save my life is where I went wrong. My counselor looked me square in the eyes and said, “You were trying to be his holy spirit and by doing so God couldn’t do His job.” Wow! That one took me months to process and he was right. I was so afraid that we were heading down a path of demise that I was doing everything in my power to ensure that we never reached that place. I shared scriptures, songs, testimonies, anything I could to open up my spouse’s eyes to the path he was taking in his own life. At the time I really thought I was doing it for his well being, but after some soul searching I discovered I was simply trying to fix him so that I no longer felt the negative effects of his sin. Because in my mind, if he was healed everything else would fall into place. I was wrong. I needed only worry about me and my issues. And after closing that chapter of my life, that is exactly what I did.
Sadly, a majority of us learn these lessons the hard way. But there is good news!!! It is never too late to change. Start by taking responsibility for you and your choices. Go to your Heavenly Father and ask for guidance and clarity in the areas you went wrong or could’ve made a wiser choice. Ask Him for forgiveness and apologize to those you wronged if that is what He says you need to do as part of the healing process. Let Him refine you and mold you into the image of Him and remember that He loves you more that anyone else in the universe!