Why does life have to be so hard? We try to do what is right only for others to see it differently. Then in an attempt to explain our motives, the problem somehow gets even bigger.
For years I have been on a journey with Christ that is unlike anything else I have ever experienced. After trusting no one but myself, God stepped in and revealed His heart. Even to this day, His love and understanding shake me to the core.
After a series of events that took place about a month ago, God revealed that the time had come for some dramatic changes to take place. I trusted Him, setting some very clear boundaries. These boundaries weren’t to upset the other party, but to protect my heart from further damage.
As expected, those boundaries created quite an uproar. I then find myself wanting to revert to previous behaviors just to end the madness, but God said to stay, so I am listening. I am trusting Him and following His lead.
After an evening of second guessing myself, which ultimately is me questioning God, I woke up with a sense of peace that I have never felt. And as if that wasn’t enough, God shows up.
A little while ago, I put in the video for a new bible study that begins tomorrow. Instead of the DVD going to the menu for me to select Session 1, it started on its own. So I watched.
These were the words that God shared with me…When someone has ears to hear God’s voice and follow His guidance, He provides an unquenchable thirst for righteousness. He tends to tap that person for help in solving a societal ill. It is the eerie calm before the storm, where God places a quiet whisper of insight into us, then He sits back to watch as a storm of justice begins to build. Once that person follows that initial direction, all bets are off. Their world gets irreversibly rocked as their role in this world takes a radical, justice-focused shift.
It wasn’t until the session ended that I realized I had just watched the last session. I was overwhelmed with such a tremendous sense of love. Not only does He know, but He cares even more that we do and He has a plan.
I don’t know what your being led to do for Christ, but I do know this: He is speaking to each and every one of us in profound ways. He is calling us to step out of our comfort zones and to fight battles that seem impossible from where we are standing. But He is God and He can use anyone He wants to bring justice to the world. It is only our job to obey, no matter the cost!
The words God shared with me came from, “The Power of a Whisper” by Bill Hybels. If you want to hear from God but aren’t sure how, I highly suggest reading this book. The way you see and hear from Him will be forever changed
Matthew 12:34 says, “Whatever is in your heart determines what you say.”
About a week ago Satan decided to use someone to completely break my spirit and knock me off course. The events that took place shook me to the core and it was then that I realized just how serious Satan is about silencing our voice. His goal is to make us feel worthless and helpless when faced with opposition. But God stepped in and revealed something that changed my heart. He used this person’s own words to reveal what was going on in their heart.
A harsh tongue reveals an angry heart.
A negative tongue reveals a fearful heart.
A boasting tongue reveals an insecure heart.
A judgmental tongue reveals a guilty heart.
A filthy tongue reveals an impure heart.
Knowing these key points changed everything. Had I known them before that particular conversation took place, I would not have taken anything that was said personally. Instead, I would have ended the conversation immediately and refused to listen to the lies that were spewing from that vault.
But God used it to teach me something. He reminded me that I am no longer in bondage. I have been healed and because of that healing, He brought to light a righteous anger that gave me the courage to stand up to the enemy without fear.
For years I sat back and watched things take place that were against the very nature of God. I knew deep down they were not right, but I was scared to death to speak the truth. For speaking truth only created more issues, so I lived in fear and mastered the art of keeping secrets. I had been lied to for so long that not only had I accepted it, I thought it was normal. After years of counseling, reading hundreds of self-help books, and spending time alone with Jesus, I starting gaining knowledge and wisdom. God revealed the truth and I was forced to come face to face with not only my lies but also the lies of others. I chose to repent, confess, and turn my life around. Doing so required me to rid myself of anything that would cause me to fall back into that trap. I now refuse to be a keeper of the lie and I seek truth. Because letting go of the lies is what truly sets us free.
If you are not a lover of the truth, you will be a keeper of the lie.
Psalm 51:6 says, “Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret.”
Let this be our prayer, “Lord, teach me wisdom in the secret.” If we are as sick as our secrets, then help us bring those secrets to light so that we can begin to heal. And create in us a pure heart as mentioned in Psalm 51:10.
If you find yourself struggling with a secret you have held onto for way too long, let me suggest a resource that will help. Beth Moore has a study out titled, “Sacred Secrets”. This study will change your life. Several of the key points in this blog come straight from that study. If we are only as sick as our secrets, isn’t it time we bring them into the light with God so that He can teach us wisdom? Because I promise you if they stay hidden, Satan will do everything in his power to expose them. Take your secrets before Christ and He will not only cover them, they will no longer be counted.
Luke 7:47 says, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven…”
Let me pray for you.
Dear Sweet Heavenly Father,
I come to you today in prayer for each of us reading this blog. You know our hearts and you know the pain we are feeling as a result of the secrets that are buried deep inside our souls. Please teach us wisdom in the secret. Reveal the truth and wrap your loving arms around us so that our fears vanish. Don’t let a secret sin or holding someone else’s secret have any more power over us. Mark 4:22 says, “For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.” Help us to heal so that we can one day reveal what you have done in us for the world to see.
Here is a great sermon by Francis Chan titled, “The Biggest Lie In Your Life”. A very eye opening and moving message on the subject.
Today as I was preparing my daily posts for my Facebook pages, I ran across this video. As I watched it, my heart was pained by the fact that we all have made stupid choices in front of our children at some point in our lives. As Christians we teach our kids to listen to what we say, often forgetting that our actions speak louder than our words. As my children get older, I have noticed some of the mistakes I made during the most painful years of my life have taken root in their hearts. Luckily God gave me His eyes and His heart during that time and made me aware of my own issues. Without that, I would still be indirectly teaching my kids behaviors that I would never want them to learn. Don’t get me wrong. I am in no way perfect now, but my heightened awareness allows me to see the areas where I need to grow and heal so that my kids don’t imitate my bad behaviors. If you are reading this and wonder how you can know if you are guilty of this, study your kids. They are mirror images of you. If they have a bad habit of being impatient, I would bet that one of their parents struggles with patience. If they have a low self-esteem, odds are a parent possesses that same trait. If your child is negative and sees life with a glass half empty mentality, they learned that from someone close to them that they watch every single day.
I know this is not easy to hear or to accept. As parents we want to raise perfect kids, but in reality that is not possible. No one is perfect and the ugly truth is that we all have baggage and bad behaviors that we caught from our parents, and them from their parents. But we can be the one who decides to make the necessary changes in our own hearts in order to foster an environment that encourages positive behaviors instead of passing on negative ones.
If today, for the first time, a lightbulb came on for you, know you are not alone. God is on your side and is right there waiting for you to ask him to start the healing process in your life. Trust Him!
Joshua 1:9 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. God will be with you and will never forsake you.”
Thank you for sharing with us in ways that get our attention. As we strive to be better parents, give us the strength and courage to get honest about us so that we can model YOU to our children. We know that we can’t give away what we don’t have so fill us with You. Help us replace our old ways with Your ways. Thank you for giving us children and entrusting them to our care. Use them to reveal to us our hearts and open our eyes to the damage we are doing without even knowing what we are passing on.
We live in a world that is constantly telling us to “follow our hearts.” We see it in movies, on television, reality shows, even hear it in the music we listen to. And for years I did just that. If I felt something, I believed that it must be God’s voice speaking to me, so I let my “feelings” be my guide. In January of 2007, I learned something that put me on a new path.
Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things.” I learned that our emotions, our feelings, are not always reliable or even accurate, certainly if damaged. Because the heart is our control center, our emotions play a major part in our reactions and decision-making process. This scripture opened my eyes to the lies I had been believing all my life about following my heart. An injured heart is Satan’s playground. When he is able to gain access, he toys with our emotions, whispering lies to our ears. Wow! That is a scary thought, certainly knowing that my heart was severely injured. I had been allowing Satan to play around in my life for way too long.
That one scripture took my life, flipped it upside down, and forced me to reevaluate everything I had ever believed. It was then that God started revealing to me all of the unhealthy relationships I was surrounded by due to my own ignorance of following my own heart instead of listening to God’s. It has taken me years to clear out the lies and replace them with His truth.
The following was my prayer to God on January 12, 2010, exactly three years after discovering this truth.
Today I begin as a new creation. My past has kept me in fear for long enough. On this day, I give it completely to you. The past few days have shaken me to the core, afraid of so many things I have no control over. Thank you God for speaking into me in ways that get my attention. You always know exactly what I need, at the very moment I need it. Three days in a row you woke me up at 5:51am. I searched for the word you had for me a few days ago and couldn’t find anything. Today started out rough. My heart is burdened with so many things. The man I love has a new baby with another woman. The man I loved for 15 years has damaged me so much that I am afraid of getting hurt all over again. My mind has become Satan’s playground for about four days now and today it ends. Satan, you are a liar and a thief. I will no longer allow you to steal my joy and peace. God, thank you for your unending love and patience. You love me like no man ever can and I need you to carry me through my fears and insecurities. So today I opened Bible Gateway and went straight to Psalm 55:1. I couldn’t stop there. The entire chapter spoke to me. It says, “This is my prayer, please hear my cry for help. Please listen and answer me, my troubles overwhelm me. Satan is yelling at me, threatening my very happiness. He brings fear and angrily hunts me down. My heart aches and the fear of hurt takes me over. Fear and trembling overwhelm me and I can’t stop shaking. I need to find rest in you. I must escape this storm.” That is my prayer.
That was my breaking point. It took me three long, painful years for it to finally click. I knew that my heart was deceitful, but I still trusted it way to often. After my divorce, I quickly jumped into a relationship with a man I thought God had put in my life for a reason. I was wrong. Satan had his hands tightly around my heart, just waiting to destroy me. His lies and schemes put me right back in a place I swore I would never return to. And it was all because I was listening to my heart instead of focusing on healing it.
I share this in hopes of helping others. If you have been hurt in the past, instead of running to the next quick fix, turn to your creator. Only He can mend your broken heart and make it whole again.
Stories have the power to connect and heal hearts. As I share my journey, I pray God uses my words to teach and guide you into His loving arms.