Christmas Day is a day to celebrate the greatest gift we were ever given, Jesus. Today as I reflect on the depths of the importantance of God sending his son, I realize that everything he places in our lives is always given with a devine purpose in mind. Jesus was sent to be the hope of the world and save us from our sins, giving us eternal life. Every Christian has heard this hundreds of times but today God put it on my heart that sometimes the things we see as a burden are actually put in our lives to refine us. As I meditated on this, it made me think about specific people and stressors I have dealt with in my life. Some of my greatest accomplishments in my walk with Christ are the result of a very trying situation. He has used those trials to benefit me in the best way possible.
So as I think about my relationship with the mother of my bonus sons, I have to stop and try to see things from a godly perspective. I never dreamed of blending two families and wanting to take on the hurt and anger that would follow from their mom. No woman ever imagines that the blessing of a second chance at love will be the source of so much hurt from someone on the outside. But by choosing to love a man and his children from a previous marriage, this was my reality. I now realize that by choosing to love the boys and my husband, I was also choosing to love her. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to love her. I actually hated her for her choices and hurtful words. But then a few years ago, God gave me insight to her heart. Ever since that day, I have prayed for wisdom and guidance when issues arise. I have prayed that I would guard my tongue and take my hurts to Christ instead of spewing them onto her, adding to her pain and suffering. Today I now see that learning how to love like Christ requires us to be put in a situation where we are taught how to do so. I am not perfect and I am guilty of hurting her, blaming it on her behaviors. But if I am honest with myself, it was my choice to choose hurt over love. She is not my enemy. She is a daughter of the King just like me and she deserves my love because I love God.
It is no accident that God chose this man, his children and their mother to add to my life. Just like the birth of Jesus brought us eternal life, the birth of my new marriage and new children brought with them the birth of a new heart.
Thank you for placing each and every one of them in my life. Your ways are definitely not my ways and I am in awe. You turn the worst situations into something beautiful everytime I choose to listen and follow you. Please continue to mold me into your image, even if it means I have to suffer in order to become more like you. Amen!