I have spent lots of time over the past few years in the word, learning about God, and building a personal relationship with him. This type of dedication came after hitting rock bottom and having no where else to turn. I now share my story with others when my Heavenly Father puts it on my heart to do so and I strive to follow his path for my life.
A few days ago, someone I love told me that they de-friended me from Facebook. I was at first confused so I did what most of us would do and asked why. I was told that it was due to my content. My heart hurt. I strive to only share content that will help others and I share my past because that is what I know God has called me to do. It was others being raw and real about their struggles that helped me when I was going through Hell on earth and those types of posts lift me up when life throws me a curve ball.
I spent a few days in prayer over the situation, trying to figure out what I said or did that would cause this person to delete me. This morning I woke up still confused and hurt, then God showed up. Through a radio program, He reminded me that I serve an audience of one. It is not my job to try to understand why this person feels the way they do. My only job is to go where he leads and use my past hurts and lessons to help others. God helped me see that not everyone is going to understand why I do what I do, but that shouldn’t stop me from doing it. His opinion is the only one that matters and He is the one I answer to. This area has always been a struggle for me. I desire to be understood. For others to see my heart and true motives behind everything I share. I reached out to someone I look up to that is using her past to write and reach those going through similar circumstances. Her response was, “You are not the manager of your reputation. Jesus was silent before his accusers. God is the manager.” That was exactly what I needed to hear.
I thank God everyday for giving me a second chance at life and the least I can do is use it to lead others to him! From this point forward, I will rest in God’s reminder that his is the only opinion I need to care about and as long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him, nothing else matters.