No comments on Suffering
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Now before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. This morning I read an article titled, “Lover or Prostitute?” It started out by explaining the history of Christianity. Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an enterprise. The definition of enterprise is a business or company. The writer was teaching this history lesson to a group of teenagers and one of the women asked a simple question. She said, “A business? But isn’t it supposed to be a body?” His response was yes and then she said, “But when a body becomes a business, isn’t that a prostitute?”
I didn’t grow up in church, but I did attend with friends every chance I got. I loved it there. Everyone was so loving and welcoming, something my home life was lacking. I quickly learned that people in church were different. Their families were actually happy, or so they seemed from the perspective of a 13-year-old with such a dysfunctional one of my own. So as an impressionable young girl, I related happiness with church. And with that I also assumed that all people who went to church were good people. This mindset led me down a very destructive path, although I didn’t recognize it until it was way too late.
At 15, I started dating. The boy was perfect in my eyes because of one thing. His family attended church. For some reason in my mind it never occurred to me that just because people go to church, doesn’t mean they are without flaws. Fast forward three years and I am now dating a different person with the same mindset. I fell in love with him because of his family. They were everything missing in my life. In a mother and father that were still married, I saw perfection. They not only attended church, but his grandfather was a preacher. I honestly felt that God placed this man and his family in my life to give me what I was missing for so long. I now had the mother and father I had always dreamed of and their Godly son by my side.
Fast forward a few years and I am married to that man and I discovered that just because people attend church and know the bible does not mean they are any different from the world. I learned that people can put on a mask and pretend to be whomever they want to portray. I made the bold statement that I use to support prostitution because I supported things that were against everything Christ stood for. My ignorance allowed me to focus on the wrong things in order to try to gain the things of Christ. I did eventually gain the things of Christ and I continue to learn more with each new day, but I took the wrong path to get there.
It not only took me 15 years of growth to gain the courage to stand up against the wrong that was taking place, but it took me even longer to realize that having a relationship with Christ is nothing like a business. I use to think that in order to grow in Christ I had to attend every church event, volunteer for everything I could, teach the younger generation, etc. I had bought in to the body becoming a business because I had a mental checklist of things that must be done to reach the my desired goal.
When the body of Christ consists of people that don’t really know Him, there is no way they can love Him. Loving someone unconditionally requires knowing them. Knowing what makes them tick, why they are who they are, their hearts.
As the body of Christ, I think we better stop and check our hearts and our motives. Because if the majority of us that call ourselves Christians are out there prostituting the body of Christ, we who call ourselves the body are defiling the very nature of the one who gave His life for us on the cross.
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I have been doing a lot of soul searching over the years and learned a lot about myself and my God. But there is one area that still boggles my mind…FRIENDS. I have several people whom I consider my friend and I think they would say the same. But what I will never understand is why I am the one who always picks up the phone to just say hi or to let them know I care. Friendship is a two way street. If you care about someone and call them your friend, action must follow. Just as faith without action produces no fruit, onesided friendships can’t produce a relationship.
Today if you value your friends, let them know. Because I guarantee that one day they will kick you to the curb if you don’t! This same lesson holds true for dating and married couples!
Since most of us see ourselves as a good friend, here is a true test that will help you see the truth: Of the two of you, who has called to check in with the other out of the last four contacts? If it was equal, you have a good friend! Cherish them! If you realize it was you every time, you value the friendship more than they do. Let them know. They will either step it up or they won’t. Either way, you will determine if you should spend any more time pursuing them. If you now realize it was them that has been reaching out with no effort from you, make it right. If you value them, show them! Apologize for taking them for granted and make a conscious effort to be the friend you expect them to be.
Remember, relationships are a joint effort and they will cease to exist without both parties pursuing one another. Don’t lose a good friend because of lack of effort on your part and don’t keep a friend who is too busy to make time for you.
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Everyone that has been in a negative relationship should listen to this song. Although it is hard to admit, we all make mistakes and say and do things we later regret. There are times when in an attempt to prove a point, we blame the other person for their bad choices and behaviors instead of taking responsibility for the only person we have control over, ourselves.
If you are reading this and happen to be in this kind of relationship now, hear this…YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM OR HER!!! I don’t care how hard you try or what you try to do to accomplish this, they won’t change until they are ready. You can’t love them more or be a better husband/boyfriend, wife/girlfriend, mother/father, etc. Trying to save their soul is not your job. That is God’s job and we are not God. I didn’t learn this lesson until I was going through my divorce. I was still seeing the counselor we saw as a couple because I wanted to fix me. So I asked the tough questions and the one that I couldn’t figure out to save my life is where I went wrong. My counselor looked me square in the eyes and said, “You were trying to be his holy spirit and by doing so God couldn’t do His job.” Wow! That one took me months to process and he was right. I was so afraid that we were heading down a path of demise that I was doing everything in my power to ensure that we never reached that place. I shared scriptures, songs, testimonies, anything I could to open up my spouse’s eyes to the path he was taking in his own life. At the time I really thought I was doing it for his well being, but after some soul searching I discovered I was simply trying to fix him so that I no longer felt the negative effects of his sin. Because in my mind, if he was healed everything else would fall into place. I was wrong. I needed only worry about me and my issues. And after closing that chapter of my life, that is exactly what I did.
Sadly, a majority of us learn these lessons the hard way. But there is good news!!! It is never too late to change. Start by taking responsibility for you and your choices. Go to your Heavenly Father and ask for guidance and clarity in the areas you went wrong or could’ve made a wiser choice. Ask Him for forgiveness and apologize to those you wronged if that is what He says you need to do as part of the healing process. Let Him refine you and mold you into the image of Him and remember that He loves you more that anyone else in the universe!
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There is a man by the name of Solomon that has always intrigued me. One night in a dream, God came to him and asked what he wanted. He could have anything he asked for and he chose to ask for wisdom, the ability to discern between good and evil. God granted that request and he was known at Solomon the Wise.“So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?”1 Kings 3:9For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to have the kind of wisdom that the bible speaks of. Not book knowledge, but the ability to have Godly insight. To know and recognize what is true and right.When I was in drill team in high school we said the Serenity Prayer before every performance. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Oh how that prayer has changed my life and guided me through situations that I had no control over time and time again. Who knew that all those years ago God was preparing me for what He created me for.I probably should have had a clue about my destiny when I realized that my name, Shannon, means small, wise one. Through each bad decision I ever made to every time I had to make life altering decisions, God taught me wisdom through prayer and seeking His wisdom. Without Him, all I would have is a library of stories in my head with knowledge that is absolutely useless.My point in sharing this story is first to lead you to seek wisdom in everything you do. Second, open your eyes to the mission that God created you for. You may have no clue what that is so start by praying that He reveals it to you. Think back to the stories that moved you as a kid before the world told you that you weren’t good enough to be used by God. You are a daughter/son of the King and He created each and every one of His children for a specific purpose. Don’t waste another day trying to mold yourself into someone that you are not. Think of it this way: God created every animal for a specific purpose. If a hunting dog spent his time and energy trying to climb trees like his friend the cat, that dog would think he is a failure because he is trying to be something he was never suppose to be good at. Get alone with God and discover the greatness that lies within. Once you discover who you really are, you will be unstoppable!
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This very subject matter has bothered me for years. Back in 2010, when I was at rock bottom due to several losses in my life, I was told I was depressed and needed to get on an anti-depressant to help me through it. My doctor said it was no big deal and the dosage would be small. He then explained that we would try it for 30 days and go from there. But…that but told me what I already knew. There was a catch. Take the pill and come back so we can wean you off of it. Really? If I have to go through a detox program, I am out! At that point I am just medicating one problem with another set of problems.
If you have read my stories, you know that I went against my gut instinct and took the medicine anyway, or so I thought. I let Satan convince me that I would be fine and I accidentally overdosed on sleeping pills in an attempt to numb the pain God was using to refine me into the person He created me to be. Luckily, God wasn’t done with me yet. I have no doubt that I died that night, only to be saved by my loving Heavenly Father, not a drug!
Now every time I see commercials for medication, I cringe. I wonder at what point did we as a country decide that fixing one ailment was worth accepting a long list of side effects that are actually worse than our original problem? I agree with Matt. Sometimes a little pain is okay to experience. I am not a theologian, but I vaguely recall Jesus purposely placing a “thorn” in the side of Paul, causing great pain. The purpose was so that he would need Jesus and rely on Him for everything.
So what if your current thorn was meant to draw you back to God and instead of going there you turn to medication?
I haven’t been sleeping well.
I’ve never slept well, actually. I’m up late, even though I’d rather be asleep, and I wake often during the night. When I do sleep, I sleep restlessly. I don’t dream. I’m always tired. Sure, this could have something to do with our 8 month old twins, but my sleeping issues developed long before the little ones arrived.
I tell you this in order to explain why I was Googling tips for curing insomnia. I don’t want drugs. I won’t take them. I just wanted some advice. Specifically, I wanted better advice than “count in your head until you fall asleep.” I tried that one a few nights ago; I got to 3, and then I started thinking about Pi. And then I tried to list the digits in Pi, but I could only remember 3.14. And then I started thinking about the movie Pi —…
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I have to admit that there are days when insecurities from my past resurface and it quite honestly shocks me. I guess I think because so much time has passed that I should no longer get triggered by anything anymore, but that is not the case. And sometimes I feel that since I have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father that is so deep, I shouldn’t have those fears anymore. But I do.
They live below the surface, buried so deep that I convince myself they are gone. That is a lie. They are still there and with them lives fear. A fear that is a big fat lie that Satan uses to trip me up. He attempts to imprison me. To take me back to the past where I felt unloved, unwanted, and unworthy of anything and everything God promises to those who love Him.
Today, I choose to refuse. I refuse to listen to the voice of the enemy, for he is a liar. I refuse to believe the lie, for he is the father of all lies. I refuse to let my past invade the present, for God has revealed the truth. He is with me. He loves me unlike anyone has ever loved me. And He will protect me from anything Satan throws my way.
If you find yourself being attacked by the enemy, remember that God is bigger. When He said, “It is finished” he meant it. We don’t have to live as slaves to our hurts or fears. We can choose to REFUSE!!!
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Over the past couple of days, I have had several conversations with people about how they are stressed out and can’t seem to find a solution to their problems.
I think God decided to teach me a little lesson so that I could turn around and share that lesson with others.
Yesterday there was something that had been bothering me that I had been trying to fix for months. I had done everything I could think of on my end with no success. When the issue arose again, I decided it was time to call on my prayer warrior. I shared my request and not five minutes later the prayer was answered. I felt so stupid for not praying months ago. I thought it was such a small issue that God didn’t have time to deal with such a request, but He revealed that no prayer is too small and every request is important to Him.
The lesson here is this:
1. We can do nothing apart from God and when we attempt to, we only end up frustrated and worn out.
2. Prayer is powerful! Not only does it save time, it lets God know that we rely on Him for everything.
3. God is ready and waiting to provide for us. We just have to be willing to go to Him and let go of our need to do everything in our own power.
What have you been killing yourself to accomplish? Maybe it is time to hand it over to the One that truly has the power to make miracles happen!
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Dear A&E,
I read that you are indefinitely suspending Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty after he quoted the Bible and said that the homosexual act is sinful. I get it, guys. I do. You punished the Christian guy for being a Christian because you got some angry emails from a bunch of whiny gay activists who lack the spine and maturity to deal with the fact that there are still people out there who have the guts to articulate opinions that they find disagreeable. In so doing, you’ve kowtowed to a pushy minority of vocal bullies who don’t even watch your channel, while alienating the fan base of the one show that keeps your entire network afloat.
Makes sense.
You’ve got standards, after all. You wouldn’t want to be associated with tasteless and inappropriate things. The people on Duck Dynasty can’t be allowed to run around being all Christian-like. It…
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Shannon Vaut 