Category Archives: My Journey

My Journey, Personal Growth, Truth

One Day Your Prince Will Come…

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We live in a day and age where most women are anxiously awaiting the day she meets her prince charming, has the wedding of her dreams, and lives happily ever after. I will be the first to admit that my dreaming about that started as a young girl. I was in love with Disney movies that portrayed the beautiful young girl meeting the handsome young boy and falling head over hills in love at first sight. I never saw the harm in that thinking until I was divorced and those thoughts crept into my mind again. I was given a second chance to choose more wisely and this time I was going to be smart, or so I thought. Lucky for me, God intervened before I had the chance to make another not so wise decision. In the midst of my delusional thinking based on fairy tales from my childhood, I found myself actually looking for “My Prince Charming” or “My knight in shining armor”, depending on the fairy tale I wanted to partake in at the time. At one point, I even met a man that I called “My Prince Charming” after only knowing him for a few days. So it is no surprise that when that relationship never really began, I was heartbroken. But it wasn’t long until Price Charming #2 and I crossed paths. Needless to say, that one didn’t last either and I found myself alone, confused and done with looking for a man that didn’t exist. That is when I met Jesus face to face. There I found the man I had always been longing for. The one who would love me unconditionally, treat me like a true princess and never leave me or forsake me. I believe that God puts that desire in each and every heart of every daughter of The King, but we don’t even put him in that category because we want someone we can see, hear, and touch in the flesh.

I share all of that because I run across people all the time that label their significant other their Prince Charming. Girls, there is no such man that exists. All men are human and all men will disappoint you at some point, leaving you hurt and confused because you thought he would be the perfect man like the ones you grew up watching in movies. The only perfect man was Jesus and he longs to sweep you off your feet and spend the rest of your life showing you just how much he loves you. So why settle for less than the best? I promise you this, once you give Jesus your heart, he will guide you to the man he created just for you. Until then, don’t be surprised when each and every man you meet falls short of the man you envisioned in your mind. Because no man can fill the space in your soul that only God was meant to fill.

My Journey, Personal Growth

Audience of One

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I have spent lots of time over the past few years in the word, learning about God, and building a personal relationship with him. This type of dedication came after hitting rock bottom and having no where else to turn. I now share my story with others when my Heavenly Father puts it on my heart to do so and I strive to follow his path for my life.

A few days ago, someone I love told me that they de-friended me from Facebook. I was at first confused so I did what most of us would do and asked why. I was told that it was due to my content. My heart hurt. I strive to only share content that will help others and I share my past because that is what I know God has called me to do. It was others being raw and real about their struggles that helped me when I was going through Hell on earth and those types of posts lift me up when life throws me a curve ball.

I spent a few days in prayer over the situation, trying to figure out what I said or did that would cause this person to delete me. This morning I woke up still confused and hurt, then God showed up. Through a radio program, He reminded me that I serve an audience of one. It is not my job to try to understand why this person feels the way they do. My only job is to go where he leads and use my past hurts and lessons to help others. God helped me see that not everyone is going to understand why I do what I do, but that shouldn’t stop me from doing it. His opinion is the only one that matters and He is the one I answer to. This area has always been a struggle for me. I desire to be understood. For others to see my heart and true motives behind everything I share. I reached out to someone I look up to that is using her past to write and reach those going through similar circumstances. Her response was, “You are not the manager of your reputation. Jesus was silent before his accusers. God is the manager.” That was exactly what I needed to hear.

I thank God everyday for giving me a second chance at life and the least I can do is use it to lead others to him! From this point forward, I will rest in God’s reminder that his is the only opinion I need to care about and as long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him, nothing else matters.

My Journey

Signs-Part 2

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I believe that God speaks to every single one of us all the time. The question is, “Are we in a personal relationship with him that ensures we can hear?” Many people will read this story and not believe or be skeptical. For me, God has shown me so many crazy things in the past that can only be explained as a God thing that I know what was revealed was from him.

In my last post I shared how God was speaking to me through signs. He continues to do so and although I can’t explain why, I know in my heart that he shows me things I would never have known without him. He has shown me visions of twins and confirmed his infinite knowledge through a sonogram that revealed two babies. As I laid watching the screen that day, seeing my unborn child for the first time, I was filled with joy. Seeing the miracle of life in the womb puts me in awe of our awesome God. But this sonogram was unlike any other. As the sonographer was navigating, we saw the first baby and I immediately noticed the second. I was brought to tears. There is nothing in this world more moving to me than witnessing a dream God put in my heart coming to fruition. It is in those moments that I experience a love unlike anything here on earth. What he shared with me next has rocked my world. I am completely in awe. Although my heart aches for what was revealed, my soul is full of joy because he personally shared something with me that he shared with no one else. I may not know his plan, but I do know it will be more magnificent than anything I could ever imagine.

One week after seeing a sonogram with two babies, I came across a story someone shared through Facebook. The picture attached to it was what caught my attention. It was a sonogram picture of a baby that looks exactly like a sono picture of my baby. I was immediately excited to read because I know God meant for me to see this. As a read this woman’s story, I could feel God’s presence. The baby in that picture had died and that was the only pic she had of her sweet unborn child. My heart sank as the reality of what was possibly going on hit me like a ton of bricks. Were there two babies growing inside me and one of them didn’t make it? I knew that God would never share something with me that wasn’t leading me towards a clearer understanding.

A second sonogram confirmed one healthy baby and one empty sac. Even as I type this, my heart aches at the thought of one of my babies dying but I feel so blessed that God chose to share with me what was going on inside of me when even the doctors had no clue what was taking place. I may have lost a child but in the process God reached down, knowing my heart and hearing my prayers, revealed knowledge to me that I never would have known without him choosing to show me. Until I get to Heaven where I can meet that baby for the very first time, I know we have a guardian angel watching over us and a loving God that cares so much about me that he would share his knowledge and wisdom so that I can gain a deeper understanding of his heart and his character.

God is definitely at work here. Last week I decided it was time to start a new book. I went to my bookshelf to choose something I haven’t had the chance to read yet. The Shack caught my attention. I had no clue what this story was even about, so as I read and discovered it was about a man losing his child I realized this was yet another divine appointment. That book has revealed things about God I have misunderstood my entire life. I have gained a deeper understanding of God’s heart and his love. God uses what we may see as a tragedy on this side of heaven as an opportunity to draw us closer to him.

As if that was not enough for God to get my attention, I receive messages periodically with things that God wants me to know and this is what mine said this month…God wants you to know that he is creating something beautiful inside you that is dying to be heard, birthing something that only you can share. What is it that God has put on your heart that you need share with the rest of the world? That message was no accident, no irony involved. It was God reaching down to me, his child, sharing his heart so that I would share what he put on mine.

I may not understand what is going on most of the time, but I do know this…God is all knowing, all loving, and more complicated than we could ever imagine and he desires to share with us the deepest parts of his soul. All we have to do is plug into him and he will do the rest, leaving us in awe of him every step of the way.

My Journey, Personal Growth, Truth

By What Do You Measure?

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There used to be a time when I considered myself to be an amazing wife, a terrific mother, and the best friend a friend could ask for, but one day I realized I was comparing myself to those around me. Once I used God as my guide, I realized that I fell short and had room for much improvement.

God’s standards are way higher than the worlds and He calls us to be better and never stop striving to be more like Him.

Is there an area of your life that needs some serious tweaking? Go to Him and let Him show you His ways.

My Journey, Personal Growth, Truth, Verse of the Day

New Beginnings

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Have you ever had something occur in your life that put you in a position to fight for what was noble, pure and true? The struggle between good and evil. Spiritual warfare at its finest. But as hard as you try, nothing seems to be working. You need a desperate shift. A God ordained incident to turn the tides and let good triumph over evil.

I was right in the middle of a moment like that and Satan was relentless. He was attacking me and my family from every angle possible. Three distinctly different sources attempting to tear me down, break my spirit, and destroy me so that I would give up on the task God was preparing me for.

But what Satan didn’t realize was that God was speaking to me through the entire course of events that were taking place and I was tuned in. His voice prepared me for battle by giving me strength, wisdom and courage to fight.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that not only did Satan have an agenda, but so did God. God allowed Satan to send three people to attack so that He could refine an area I have struggled with for years.

I suffer from codependency. Codependency is when a relationship is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or addiction). It involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of those who suffer from such conditions. Poor boundaries not only contribute to the problem, but they are the reason for it in the first place. My lack of boundaries to protect myself led me to feeling responsible for other people’s feelings and problems for years and it took being manipulated by three people for me to open my eyes to the damage I was allowing others to do to my soul. My dependency created a need to be liked, a fear of being rejected, and a deep desire to be understood. Even though the relationships were painful and abusive, I found it very difficult to break free from the craziness of it all. My desire to help people paralyzed me to stay right in the midst of the very circumstances that were destroying my life.

Thank goodness for Godly friends. Their wisdom opened my eyes to truth and helped me to set some very clear boundaries. Now those boundaries weren’t taken very well by the perpetrators but that doesn’t matter. All I am responsible for is me. I finally understand that in order to break the chains that bind me, I must learn what healthy boundaries look like and stand firm.

Shortly after taking some huge strides and releasing my struggles to God, He surprised me with a huge blessing…we are expecting! I have always dreamed of having a child with a man that really loves me. Someone to share in the joys of pregnancy, the excitement of new life and everything that comes with that. God reached out and transformed me, opening me up to receive not only the blessing of healing, but the blessing of new beginnings as I journey into the next phase of life hand in hand with my Heavenly Father. The One who loves me more than I could have ever imagined and reminds me every day that if I follow Him, He will take me on a path that I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams.

If you find yourself relating to my story, first know that God is right there with you. There is a ministry called, “Celebrate Recovery” where you can find healing from hurts and habits. They meet in local churches all over. Another resource that helped me was a book by Pia Mellody called, “Facing Codependence.” As with any issue we face in life, knowledge is the key to gaining wisdom and wisdom is what leads to making better choices.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for each and every heart that is reading this with tears streaming down their face. Wrap your loving arms around them to remind them that you are near. Give them Your knowledge and infinite wisdom to break free from the chains that are destroying them from the inside out. I pray that they feel your presence like never before and find true freedom so that the door to new beginnings flings wide open and allows Your light to shine brighter than the sun!

My Journey, Personal Growth, Truth

Change Your Thoughts Challenge

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If you know me or have been following my blog for very long, you know that my journey and personal relationship with God has come as a result of some serious pain along the way. As I reflect on how I got to where I am today, I clearly remember one specific thing that changed my life forever.

Several years ago I came to a point in my life where what I was doing was no longer working. You know, those moments where you think you are doing everything right and God hits you upside the head and says, “Is what you are doing building our relationship or just making you look Godly to the world?” Through serious soul searching, I found that He was right. I didn’t feel I was doing stuff to appear Godly, I honestly was doing everything because I thought that was what He wanted of us as Christ followers. You know, attend church, get actively involved in a small group, attend bible study, volunteer somewhere, read His word daily, tithe, the list goes on and on.

It was then that I discovered Christian rock. I know that sounds way too simple to lead to a life change in regards to getting to know Christ personally, but that one small change completely altered life as I knew it. Listening to God on a daily basis is the key to significant growth and God used music to speak to me. As days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, I noticed that my entire thought process had completely changed. I started seeing things through a new lens.

My challenge to you is that for one week you listen to only positive, uplifting music. There are several Christian radio stations in every city so find one that appeals to your style of music. If you listen to internet radio at work or at home, KLOVE is my favorite. I have a feeling that after one week, your choice in music will not only change your attitude, but it will change the way you see the world around you.

My Journey, Personal Growth, Truth

From Secrets, The Heart Overflows

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Matthew 12:34 says, “Whatever is in your heart determines what you say.”

About a week ago Satan decided to use someone to completely break my spirit and knock me off course. The events that took place shook me to the core and it was then that I realized just how serious Satan is about silencing our voice. His goal is to make us feel worthless and helpless when faced with opposition. But God stepped in and revealed something that changed my heart. He used this person’s own words to reveal what was going on in their heart.

A harsh tongue reveals an angry heart.

A negative tongue reveals a fearful heart.

A boasting tongue reveals an insecure heart.

A judgmental tongue reveals a guilty heart.

A filthy tongue reveals an impure heart.

Knowing these key points changed everything. Had I known them before that particular conversation took place, I would not have taken anything that was said personally. Instead, I would have ended the conversation immediately and refused to listen to the lies that were spewing from that vault.

But God used it to teach me something. He reminded me that I am no longer in bondage. I have been healed and because of that healing, He brought to light a righteous anger that gave me the courage to stand up to the enemy without fear.

For years I sat back and watched things take place that were against the very nature of God. I knew deep down they were not right, but I was scared to death to speak the truth. For speaking truth only created more issues, so I lived in fear and mastered the art of keeping secrets. I had been lied to for so long that not only had I accepted it, I thought it was normal. After years of counseling, reading hundreds of self-help books, and spending time alone with Jesus, I starting gaining knowledge and wisdom. God revealed the truth and I was forced to come face to face with not only my lies but also the lies of others. I chose to repent, confess, and turn my life around. Doing so required me to rid myself of anything that would cause me to fall back into that trap. I now refuse to be a keeper of the lie and I seek truth. Because letting go of the lies is what truly sets us free.

If you are not a lover of the truth, you will be a keeper of the lie.

Psalm 51:6 says, “Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret.”

Let this be our prayer, “Lord, teach me wisdom in the secret.” If we are as sick as our secrets, then help us bring those secrets to light so that we can begin to heal. And create in us a pure heart as mentioned in Psalm 51:10.

If you find yourself struggling with a secret you have held onto for way too long, let me suggest a resource that will help. Beth Moore has a study out titled, “Sacred Secrets”. This study will change your life. Several of the key points in this blog come straight from that study. If we are only as sick as our secrets, isn’t it time we bring them into the light with God so that He can teach us wisdom? Because I promise you if they stay hidden, Satan will do everything in his power to expose them. Take your secrets before Christ and He will not only cover them, they will no longer be counted.

Luke 7:47  says, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven…”

Let me pray for you.

Dear Sweet Heavenly Father,

I come to you today in prayer for each of us reading this blog. You know our hearts and you know the pain we are feeling as a result of the secrets that are buried deep inside our souls. Please teach us wisdom in the secret. Reveal the truth and wrap your loving arms around us so that our fears vanish. Don’t let a secret sin or holding someone else’s secret have any more power over us. Mark 4:22 says, “For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.” Help us to heal so that we can one day reveal what you have done in us for the world to see.

Amen.

 

Here is a great sermon by Francis Chan titled, “The Biggest Lie In Your Life”. A very eye opening and moving message on the subject.

My Journey, Personal Growth, Truth

The Friend Test

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching over the years and learned a lot about myself and my God. But there is one area that still boggles my mind…FRIENDS. I have several people whom I consider my friend and I think they would say the same. But what I will never understand is why I am the one who always picks up the phone to just say hi or to let them know I care. Friendship is a two way street. If you care about someone and call them your friend, action must follow. Just as faith without action produces no fruit, onesided friendships can’t produce a relationship.

Today if you value your friends, let them know. Because I guarantee that one day they will kick you to the curb if you don’t! This same lesson holds true for dating and married couples!

Since most of us see ourselves as a good friend, here is a true test that will help you see the truth: Of the two of you, who has called to check in with the other out of the last four contacts? If it was equal, you have a good friend! Cherish them! If you realize it was you every time, you value the friendship more than they do. Let them know. They will either step it up or they won’t. Either way, you will determine if you should spend any more time pursuing them. If you now realize it was them that has been reaching out with no effort from you, make it right. If you value them, show them! Apologize for taking them for granted and make a conscious effort to be the friend you expect them to be.

Remember, relationships are a joint effort and they will cease to exist without both parties pursuing one another. Don’t lose a good friend because of lack of effort on your part and don’t keep a friend who is too busy to make time for you.

My Journey, Personal Growth, Prayer, Truth

God Grant Me the Serenity

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There is a man by the name of Solomon that has always intrigued me. One night in a dream, God came to him and asked what he wanted. He could have anything he asked for and he chose to ask for wisdom, the ability to discern between good and evil. God granted that request and he was known at Solomon the Wise.
“So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?”1 Kings 3:9
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to have the kind of wisdom that the bible speaks of. Not book knowledge, but the ability to have Godly insight. To know and recognize what is true and right.
When I was in drill team in high school we said the Serenity Prayer before every performance. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Oh how that prayer has changed my life and guided me through situations that I had no control over time and time again. Who knew that all those years ago God was preparing me for what He created me for.
I probably should have had a clue about my destiny when I realized that my name, Shannon, means small, wise one. Through each bad decision I ever made to every time I had to make life altering decisions, God taught me wisdom through prayer and seeking His wisdom. Without Him, all I would have is a library of stories in my head with knowledge that is absolutely useless.
My point in sharing this story is first to lead you to seek wisdom in everything you do. Second, open your eyes to the mission that God created you for. You may have no clue what that is so start by praying that He reveals it to you. Think back to the stories that moved you as a kid before the world told you that you weren’t good enough to be used by God. You are a daughter/son of the King and He created each and every one of His children for a specific purpose. Don’t waste another day trying to mold yourself into someone that you are not. Think of it this way: God created every animal for a specific purpose. If a hunting dog spent his time and energy trying to climb trees like his friend the cat, that dog would think he is a failure because he is trying to be something he was never suppose to be good at. Get alone with God and discover the greatness that lies within. Once you discover who you really are, you will be unstoppable!
My Journey, Personal Growth, Truth, Verse of the Day

I Choose To Refuse

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I have to admit that there are days when insecurities from my past resurface and it quite honestly shocks me. I guess I think because so much time has passed that I should no longer get triggered by anything anymore, but that is not the case. And sometimes I feel that since I have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father that is so deep, I shouldn’t have those fears anymore. But I do.

They live below the surface, buried so deep that I convince myself they are gone. That is a lie. They are still there and with them lives fear. A fear that is a big fat lie that Satan uses to trip me up. He attempts to imprison me. To take me back to the past where I felt unloved, unwanted, and unworthy of anything and everything God promises to those who love Him.

Today, I choose to refuse. I refuse to listen to the voice of the enemy, for he is a liar. I refuse to believe the lie, for he is the father of all lies. I refuse to let my past invade the present, for God has revealed the truth. He is with me. He loves me unlike anyone has ever loved me. And He will protect me from anything Satan throws my way.

If you find yourself being attacked by the enemy, remember that God is bigger. When He said, “It is finished” he meant it. We don’t have to live as slaves to our hurts or fears. We can choose to REFUSE!!!